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My friend Gnurt

I have a friend, Gnurt. I can’t tell you how Vanilla gave him that nickname because then you’ll be able to figure out his real name.

Anyways, Gnurt is affectionately known in our group of friends for being lofty, a liar, and a propensity to “put on airs,” as they might have said in the 1900s, which is a fitting term to use here because Gnurt also collects antiques and knows the difference between what is “antique” versus what is merely “vintage.” Yes, that’s they type of person Gnurt is.

I love Gnurt because of his friendly disposition, his generosity towards his friends, and most of all, his unaware ability to lie and make things up.

Vanilla: “You didn’t go to Tetzloff!”
Gnurt: “Yes I did.”
Vanilla: “Oh yeah? Who were your friends there?”
Gnurt: “I was friends with … the Whites.”

Even I can specify names of my friends in junior high. We’re not THAT old.

Jamone said, very seriously, “Did these Whites…have names?”

I also have to say the other two highlights of the evening, which was to celebrate Daniel’s (yes, his real name because I can’t think of a clever nickname right now) birthday was Gnurt saying “make a bitch!” instead of “bust a bitch” or even “flip a bitch” referring to a U-turn, and Gnurt talking about his “gravity gas heater” – which, according to eHow, is NOT what Gnurt has for his home heating system.

See? Lies.



I used to think being an attorney was a tough job. Then I had kids.

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