I honestly have no idea what to write for this blog. It’s near 1 a.m. and I’m just tired. At this point, I’m just blogging because I committed to 30 days of this. My 3-month old is up and awake and I’ve been trying to get him to sleep for the past 40 minutes. Vanilla is watching him and I always feel so pressed for time when he watches him, like he’s just waiting for me to finish and hand Baby back to me. But it can be so difficult to out put creatively when your mind’s distracted and you feel like you have to hurry up before Baby becomes Banshee.
I’ve been tired all day. I got a nap in with Baby. I had a dream that there was a scorpion in the bathtub, and when I told Vanilla this I was surprised he didn’t want to go see it. Then he told me he was deathly afraid of scorpions, which again surprised me. Also in my dream I had told my former boss, Amy, that I would make it to some sort of party. Then I remembered I have to breastfeed and the party’s in Riverside. I didn’t want to back out and risk upsetting Amy – who I look up to a lot – so I told Vanilla to use the frozen breastmilk in our freezer and a bottle, if needed. I guess this was important because he and I have been fighting over bottles a lot – he keeps saying things like – why don’t we use a bottle? I respond between a varying level of annoyance to intense anger – we don’t need bottles, babies are gassier when bottlefed, he’s doing so well breastfeeding why create problems, the possibility of cross contamination and are you going to clean the bottles? Have you even done any research on bottlefeeding? Ok, we’ll do bottles but you’re going to feed him during the night now!
Ok, I gotta go. I’m exhausted. I guess at least I made it through this blog entry.